手術的日子已預約好，五月六日浸會醫院。
明知手術越早做越好，但 21/4 IEd Annual Performance，排舞師總不能撇下 dancers 不顧；醫生本定在 26/4，但不知道手術後不能走路的時間會維持多久，百分百基於責任心，決定完成 5/5 的嘉年華才做手術，始終是工作的一大 function。
將手術和病假事宜告知牧師，回應是「如非甚麼影響性命、牽涉生死之類，該找遲點不影響工作的時間，不過現在醫院也 book 了，沒法了。」
在情在理可以老早做手術，我為何要拖延至五月六？這是我第二次強烈感受到，莫說是作為牧者，他連作為人最基本的關心也沒有。
主耶穌，若有門徒跟你說患了痲瘋，你會跟他說：「不會死吧？完成工作才找醫治。」嗎？
四月七日，是家姐、成龍大哥的生日，也是師弟陳源豐的死忌。
四時多，望到老朋新聞組的留言，得知兩師弟攀山遇險，生死未卜；立時呆了，跟同事道出事件，竟得了其中一已離世的消息，沒有來源，我只有祈禱，上網找尋即時新聞，希望消息出錯。
可惜，事實與渴望的相違背。
明報即時新聞網早在中午十二時，已經發佈不幸的消息。
捨不得，淚輕輕落下，然後跟陳雞通電，缺堤了。結果，狠狠的哭了三次。
仍記得中三時，帶你們去福音營。
仍記得莫記時，老遠已聽見你們喊我「大佬！」
仍記得中大時，你跟我讀同一科電影課，你比我還要考得高分呢。
原來，我已經不能看到你咪起雙眼的傻笑臉。
原來，我可以如此捨不得你。
願你安息主懷中，也願文瀚早日康復。
—————
[I 'll be missing you ]
Every day I wake up
I hope I’m dreamin
I can’t believe this shit
Can’t believe you ain’t here
Sometimes it’s just hard for a nigga to wake up
It’s hard to just keep goin
It’s like I feel empty inside without you bein here
I would do anything man, to bring you back
I’d give all this shit, shit the whole knot
I saw your son today
He look just like you
You was the greatest
You’ll always be the greatest
I miss you Big
Can’t wait til that day, when I see your face again
I can’t wait til that day, when I see your face again…
Yeah… this right here, tell me why
Goes out, to everyone, that has lost someone
That they truly loved
c’mon, check it out
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin on the block for dough
Notorious, they got to know that
Life ain’t always what it seem to be
Words can’t express what you mean to me
Even though you’re gone, we still a team
Through your family, I’ll fulfill your dream
In the future, can’t wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it’s real, feelings hard to conceal
Can’t imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living your life, after death
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing you
I miss you Big…
It’s kinda hard with you not around
Know you in heaven smilin down
Watchin us while we pray for you
Every day we pray for you
Til the day we meet again
In my heart is where I’ll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts Big I just can’t define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us in the 6, shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Makin hits, stages they receive you on
I still can’t believe you’re gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still living you’re life, after death
Every step I take, every move I make
Every single day, every time I pray
I’ll be missing you
Thinkin of the day, when you went away
What a life to take, what a bond to break
I’ll be missing you
Somebody tell me why
On that morning
When this life is over
I know
I’ll see your face
Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
Every night I pray, every step I take
Every day that passes
Every move I make, every single day
Is a day that I get closer
To seeing you again
Every night I pray, every step I take
We miss you Big… and we won’t stop
Every move I make, every single day
Cause we can’t stop… that’s right
Every night I pray, every step I take
Every move I make, every single day
We miss you Big
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